Here is another unplanned post that I wasn’t really sure I wanted to write but here I am.
Rory Gilmore had her heart broken and broke a few hearts during the course of Gilmore Girls. I think I’m in the same boat that she was in when Dean broke up with her after she didn’t say “I love you”, except in my case the break up wasn’t after a confession of love. I was in a similar place to Rory because I couldn’t commit, just like Rory couldn’t commit to Dean.
Break ups aren’t easy and while I’m doing pretty good after everything happened, I am still trying to deal with the break up. The Gilmore Girls ladies had some good ways to deal with break ups…for the most part. These are the tips that I have picked up and that I have been using over the past week.
- Wallowing. You have to wallow. I am a supporter of Lorelai’s view on wallowing. You shouldn’t wait to wallow because if you hold off on wallowing it will be extremely hard to handle going through your days and you run the risk of all the emotions crashing down on you too hard when you least expect them. Take time for your heart and wallow. You’ve lost your love, you have a right to feel sadness.
- Crying. I put crying as its own category because you can cry out of the context of wallowing. You can cry when you feel the happiness that you felt during your relationship. You don’t need to feel sad about the relationship being over, I know that is hard to do, you can also cry tears of joy that it happened. You had the chance to spend some time with a great person and you deserve to cry about the loss and you deserve to cry about the happiness that you have felt. You can cry. It isn’t a bad thing to show your crying face to others. I have cried from happiness and sadness this week and that’s okay.
- Keeping Busy. This is the step you need to take after you feel content with your feelings and with your decision. When the wallowing is done, it is time to keep yourself busy. Staying busy doesn’t have to mean that you are already over your relationship or that you’ve moved on, it just means that it is time to keep moving forward. This doesn’t mean that you didn’t care for the person or that you are cold hearted because you can go through your days without feeling consistently sad. You have reached a point where you can devote your time to something else and focus on yourself. Make yourself a garage that is your perfect all alone place, clean your keyboard, read a book, organize your CD collection, plan a job venture, or put all your time into studying.
Stay strong. Take care of yourself. You’ll find someone new to spend your time with one day. Don’t rely on a significant other to be your sole source of happiness. Make yourself the best person you can be and find your happiness in yourself first then search for some form of happiness from others.